Showing posts with label rolling pin is my weapon of choice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rolling pin is my weapon of choice. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

The Great Babooshka


I feel asleep frickin' early last night. Passed right out around 7 and woke up like a bewildered animal in my clothes in bed near midnight. Stumbled into the living room, not knowing if it was morning or if I'd only been asleep for a half hour. Probably couldn't have told you my name, I was so out of it.

So I sat around for a couple hours with a bowl of Cheerios, got a call from K-Jenks and laughed my face off, watched Canada get shit pummeled some more at the Olympics, then around 2am, figured it was time for sleep.

So I'm in bed and rolling around, and this low rumble is keeping me awake. I live a hop, skip and a leap from the airport, so I thought maybe a jet was gearing up (charters leave at all hours in the North, for camps or mines or because they're 8 hours late). But it kept happening, every half hour or so.

It kept me up, just thinking what it could be...

Then it dawned on me.

Iqaluit is situated in the perfect spot for transcontinental jets to pass over from Europe to North America, or vice-versa. They fly over in case of emergencies, because the runway here is like 15 miles long (I think I heard the Space Shuttle at some point). It must have been the ceaseless international red-eye flights crusing overhead.

It gave me comfort to realize what was going on, but still, the noise was pissing me off. Kind of sounded like low-key belly rumblings.
At that point, I wish I could have metamorphisized into a 45-year old, overweight, varicose-vein wrought, hair-in-tight-grey-bun sporting, dirty apron and flower dress wearing, Eastern European immigrant living in an apartment in New York City in the 1970s, Babooshka.

It would have been great. I would have run out in the parking lot, yelling and cursing superstitious swear words and shaking my rolling pin at those dang metal noisemakers 6-miles above me. I would have made a spectacular scene. Lights in the three apartment complexes surrounding the parking lot would have gone on and people could have sat out on their decks with their children eating popcorn, watching the spectacle with delight. It would have been absolutely pointless and did nothing to quell the rumble of the jets, but in all my maniacal rantings and ravings, I probably would have tuckered myself right out and been able to hit the hay without issue.

This is my weapon of choice

I think I would make a great Babooshka, what with all the surliness and irrational hatred.

...there's someone at the door... there's someone at the door....

Mens' Olympic Basketball update:

USA 97 - Angola 76

Ooooh... What's up, Can? Looks like your boys got the beat down. Maybe they should spend some more mon.. hey....eosilskf932*(#@&.. ow... shit..#*$&(*#$&KJLSk;lka;lkfdso ... af.. let go of that.....0(#$*)#@$& fm=a

.as-0932

... you're gonna break it....

093lkja...feh... uhhhg...

...

jklsasdlkfjaljks;dfk...

...

Apologies.

This post is done.

Let's just say, Herbiberous is in no shape to be writing right now.

Peace be with you,

-Oil Can