...and some people don't like baseball... psshhh

Saw this on a friend's facebook page and had to share it. True story.

"What happened to yesterday?

I mean, what other sport could produce a story like this?

Golf, you say? Hmmm... That'd be interesting.

kermit sings the blues

Virus-ravaged Miss Piggy has been quarantined somewhere in some forgotten corner of Mexico, and my boy Kermit isn't taking it very well.

You know it's a damn good tune when even Kermit can sing it and you keep listening.

Don't know how many of you are Elliott Smith or Royal Tenebaum fans, but since I count myself both, I couldn't help but share this with you.

round-up

Is it a bad thing that when I heard the two words 'round-up', I'm conditioned to think Arby's?

Mmmm... Arby's. Looks disgusting, tastes delicious... for two bites.

Realization, I've been conditioned.

Moving along, it's been an eventful week or two here in Montreal and I'm not sure I should really write about all the happenings, so a few highlights, I suppose:

First, had a great visit with Patch, who flew over for almost a week after visiting his bro in Halifax. The first night we hit up probably the nastiest sushi joint I think I've ever visited (for those keeping track at home, I've now been to four sushi restaurants in my life, pretty much making me an expert) and after chasing down some sticky, puddy salmon with a few Tsing-Taos, we went down to try to score tickets for the Habs/Lightening game. We knew full-well the odds were against us getting seats, seeing as two of the highest profile French-Canadian hockey superstars were coming to town (Vinny Lecavelier, and Marty St. Louis), it was a Saturday night and Habs tix are notoriously difficult to find. We spent maybe a half an hour patrolling the entrances, dealing and negotiating with the scuzziest, lowest, lime-stain, patchouli greezeballs you can imagine (ticket scalpers). We finally settled and I saw my first game in the Bell Centre... in the restaurant downstairs. The prices they were looking for were egregious (yes, folks. Egregious) and we had just as good a time in the restaurant (meaning, we spent all the money we would have used for tickets on beers.)

Later, we met up with some friends of Patchies, went on multiple bike rides around the city (which should by now be a definite no-no, considering all that has happened when I mix drinks and two-wheeled, self-propelled vehicles), I sang 'Cinnamon Girl' with a girl named Angel (pronounced Un-gelle), cheered on Patch as he stole the show when he broke out the Vanilla Ice slide while two people were lamely singing "Ice, Ice Baby" and finally got into the trademark, late night argument with the man on the way home.

The next night, we went down to Le National and saw Dan Auerbach and the Fast Five. Auerbach is the man behind the Black Keys and my boy Drewsif put me onto his solo album this spring (much obliged.). The show was killer, not only because the man, Auerbach -- who I thought sort of looked like Mankind from the WWF (I refuse to call it WWE) -- plays with such passion, but his rhythm (what a weird looking word: rhythm) section was so unorthodox. They brought out two drum kits and at different points, the two drummers would wail out these mouse-trap-style beats, like they had to hit each drum on their kits in sequence before they could start over again. And when they weren't both playing kits, one guy with this long frizzy hair, would play a triangle or maracas like he was demented. If I was on mushrooms that night I'd still be having nightmares about him,

The tambourinist kills it!

Me and Patch had been gearing up for the song Mean Monsoon and it tore the place down. Unfortunately, it -- or the sushi from the night before -- hit me harder than I expected. Do you know before an avalanche starts and the pack breaks free, a pressure builds and a little slide happens on a layer up top? Well, that's exactly how my bowels felt at the end of that song. I could feel the on-coming mudslide! I ran like Usain Bolt's adopted pet and found the shitter and ripped off my pants just in time to let loose some of the foulest matter ever witnessed in our cosmos -- or any parallel universe for that matter. It was basically the feces equivalent of the slimy ticket scalpers outside the Bell Centre. I swear, the toilet water was bubbling like a witch's cauldron afterward. Either way, I thought I was going to die for about 10 minutes, whilst doubled over on the John, crying into my shoes. I was sweating like I'd just given birth -- or more appropriately, Satan's afterbirth. And the worst part? I could hear a couple other of my favourites from Auerbach, pounding through the wall. Finally, when I felt safe, I gingerly ventured back outside -- but not before suggesting a staff member call a priest or someone to exorcise that washroom. I probably looked like someone who'd just witnessed a massacre.

The openers were pretty cool that night. Jessica Lee Mayfield started things off and I immediately decided I wanted to marry her and move to an Alberta foothills town and sip coffee and whiskey and listen to her play guitar as storms rolled off the Rockies down onto the plains.

And Justin Townes Earle came up after, looking a little bit like Steve-O in appearance and tattoos, but also a little bit Steve Urkell, with the horned-rimmed glasses and tight jeans. The guy was pretty gimmicky for a bit, but damn could he belt out a tune, whether it was honky-tonk, folk or some old school, story-telling country. Turns out he's Steve Earle's son, too.

Went out after to the Distellerie, where we decided that Montreal is home to the highest concentration of pretty girls on the planet. Sorry, New York and London. You have quantity down, I'll give you that.

Next night, we went with my roommate and her friends to see a German techno DJ. I know, I know, what was old biberous doing seeing a German techno DJ? You're probably thinking people were shitting all over each other or something, right? Well, no actually. We danced (yeah, I know. I danced) for about two hours even though it was balmier than Kramer's lap in there. The night ended when the girls left because they had class the next morning.

I walked to meet Patch at the bar and made my way through a crowd of people. One guy wouldn't get out of my way and as I politely tried to push by, I felt a real steamy feeling on my neck and forced past. I got to the bar to see Darcy laughing like crazy.

"Did that guy just try to kiss me?"

He kept laughing. And laughed. So I started to laugh. Then we took a look around. We got out of there when we noticed that there weren't too many girls around. But a lot of guys.

All in all, it was fucking great to hang out with Patch and chat and eat and drink with a close bud. For the past three months, with all the coming and going, it felt like I hadn't been able to just sit back and feel completely comfortable in conversation, because it still feels like I'm always on my toes, while I try to get to know people. It was nice to not have to feel that for a couple days. Just what I needed. And great to catch up with the Patch man, who I hadn't spoken to in months, it felt.

---

Other than that, been trying to stay busy, on my budget of pennies. Still not working and I've started to look around for another job. But in the meantime, I've seen a couple really interesting performances at a venue called la Sala Rosa.

On Wednesday, there was an Artists Against Apartheid concert, where I got to see a pianist and trumpet player perform a jazz score over a slideshow, an experiment seven-piece group complete with a harp and slide guitar play what I could only describe as 'snow falling in the ocean music' and a three piece group playing experimental Middle Eastern stuff.

---

Tonight, I just got back from a documentary about two of the world's best World of Warcraft players, called Beyond the Game. Since I had a roommate back at university who played for 16 hours a day sometimes (Mac Deezee!!!) I've always wondered what the appeal was. While that was never answered in the flick, I did find it compelling, by the way the game is so popular in China and Korea. In the film, scores of Chinese kids would show up at the competitions and watch with their jaws hanging, as their heroes battled it out on big screens. Security would hold them back from the players, who would sign autographs and pose for pictures afterward.

Yesterday, I went with my roommate to listen to Norman Finklestein, who has spoken up against the Israeli occupation in Palestine. I enjoyed what he had to say and really thought a lot about the sacrifices radicals make in their lives, as they pursue their causes. I had more to write about the contradictions in his life, but I'm kind of wiped. Maybe some other time.

---

Other than that, it's beginning to become business as usual.

---

It's an odd feeling leaving home and so many people you know and love for no reason in particular other than a need to.

---

Got some news last night, which effectively closes a chapter in my life, I think. No regrets.

And while I've spent an inordinate amount of time recently thinking about what I want, really, when it all comes down to it, all that I want is an Easy Plateau.

awesome band name #3,861

Sometimes things get lost in translation, but sometimes they just get funnier.

I know, I know. It's supposed to be rapé. Still...

Anyways, file that one under the wicked band name category. Don't tell me you wouldn't buy a ticket to see Parmesan Rape.

Note:

For the record, my favorite French words are:

5. Ecureuil (squirrel)

4. Beouf (beef)

3. Pamplemousse (grapefruit)

2. Pneu (tire)

...and drumroll please....

1. Loup-garou (werewolf)

Honourable mention: chauve-souris (bat -- or bald mouse, translated literally), grenouille (frog), caoutchouc (rubber), Guy Lafleur (the flower guy?)

bow-t as stupid as it gets

So President Obama, on his trip through Asia, has -- not surprisingly -- drawn the ire of Conservatives back home, after he was pictured bowing to Japanese Emperor Akihito, in Japan.

How do you say 'kiss the ring' in Japanese?

One crusty old con, Bill Bennett (who apparently only bows when he's over a craps table) was quoted by CNN, stating:

"It's ugly. I don't want to see it. We don't defer to emperors. We don't defer to kings or emperors."

Another salty talking head, William Kristol, told Fox News:

"It's not appropriate for an American president to bow to a foreign one."

(In other news, Kristol played a game of swords with another pundit. Upon finding out his member was smaller, Kristol urinated all over the pundit's feet. And on a recent trip to Japan, Bennett vomited several times while taking in a sumo-wrestling contest. Apparently, he was nauseated by all the "ugly" bowing.)

Is this even worth talking about? I mean, when I'm invited to somebody's home, before I step inside, I take off my shoes. I realize if I don't take my shoes off, and start trampling through my host's place wearing my muddy kicks, the people who have invited me over may develop an unfavourable opinion of me.

I actually think what Obama is doing is what people call diplomacy, and it may be working to make friends around the world. Clearly, the "with us or against us" mentality the U.S. employed during the Dubya years was polarizing. I think Obama is starting to win them back, and I mean, nothing could be worse than George W. Bush's last visit to Japan, seen below.

George being George

Really though. This is the kind of shit that just turns me -- and I assume -- a lot of people off about politics. A customary gesture gets blown out of proportion and all of a sudden, opponents are pointing to how Obana is "weak" and America is being seen as less powerful.

Obama is meeting an Emperor, for Chrissake. He's not bowing to a fucking Enterprise Car Rental employee.

I understand Bennett and Kristol need to yammer about something to keep their kids in Ivy League schools or something, but get real.

madlib - so much

Suck my nards, sample-haters.

L.A. beat junkie Madlib, in his 40+ track Dilla tribute, gets this...

from this...

Now, not only does he create something completely new and funky from the song, but it also reintroduces the original to a new audience.

It's win/win.

Note: this really has turned into one of my favourite hobbies -- tracking down samples from sick beats.

Just for fun...

J Dilla - Track 3 on a mixtape that lived in my head for two years during Uni...

... from the Marvelettes -- You're the One

the times they were a-changin' -- mad men season 3 thoughts

(***SPOILER ALERT***)

(DO NOT READ ON IF YOU PLAN TO WATCH THE SHOW, OR IF YOU HAVE YET TO SEE SEASON THREE OR THE FINALE!!!)

(HONESTLY!)

No wonder why Draper wanted out of Sterling Cooper... The building's falling apart.

I just listened to PTI's Tony Kornheiser rip the final episode of Mad Men's 3rd season on Bill Simmons' B.S. Report tonight. He said he was disappointed with it, since it basically puts an end to the first three seasons of the show, jettisons Ken Cosgrove and a bunch of characters, kills the tension between Betty and Don Draper and comes out seemingly like a happy, optimistic, starting-over for the agency.

"It's not going to be a bad show from now on. It's just going to be a different show," he said.

No shit, but that's life, bud.

Look, the final episode said a lot about where the show is (and country was) going and I think there is far more to it than Kornheiser is looking at.

In my opinion, the finale did a perfect of tying together all the story lines from the season and I honestly cannot wait for Season Four. Kornheiser said he was sad the show was changing and that there would no longer be the happy-go-lucky, glossy, optimism in the agency (or country). Well, that's just reality, mon. And I would argue, that while things appeared wonderful -- what with the copious amounts of hard-liquor guzzled before noon and the constant cavorting between the guys and 'their girls' -- things weren't as great for the black men tending the elevators and sandwich carts, or the women forced to submit to the every wish of their men -- at the office and in the home.

The show is going to be different, because America, at that time -- just months after JFK's assassination in 1963 -- was changing. Don said it when he was trying to woo Peggy to the off-shoot agency, referencing how people who buy things now saw themselves -- and the system -- differently.

The finale was beautiful because the shift from security to something new and frightening was done so cleverly. With all the characters venturing out of the ritzy office and crammed into a hotel room, they were forging into uncharted territory and it's a great illustration of precisely what -- and this is assumption on my behalf -- Americans felt like after Kennedy was killed. The country was mere months -- or years -- away from major social upheaval -- civic rights movement, feminism movement, the Beatles' arrival, unrest over Vietnam, the Hippy, free love and LSD movements -- and, like it or not, business at usual at the old Sterling Cooper was no longer going to be possible.

Not only was the new group stealing away the clients and forming Sterling Cooper Draper Price a great way to show this, but it was also necessary, because that old world was becoming extinct.

I also thought the theme of separation in the finale was very well done.

Don agrees to separate from his wife, which devastates him and is destructive to his family. He seemed to finally want to make things right at home, but his infidelity, lying and distance finally pushed Betty over the edge. I now get the impression that the freedom Don was addicted to sexually has been quashed. However, at the same time, the separation from Sterling Cooper provides him with more freedom and creative control at work. It was a nice juxtapositon.

Also of interest in the finale, after Betty outed Don and the secret identity that he's been running from for ten years -- and the first three seasons of the show -- we finally see Don become a little like his old man in the finale. When 'The Draper' walks into the office, he's shown remembering how his dad broke away from a farmers' co-op, after a price they were promised was lowered. His father takes it upon himself to get a better deal. Does anyone see a connection between his going out and initiating the coup at Sterling Cooper -- and truly becoming the alpha dog of the agency -- and his father breaking away on his own?

(Note: We're later shown Don's father getting kicked in the head by a horse and killed once he finally capitulates to his Don's step-mom's insistence to sell their crop. Any foreshadowing here? And if so, what does it mean?)

Also, I have to believe that Betty Draper is going to play a quieter role in the show now. For quite some time, I thought she was one of the most interesting characters, as she tried to reconcile Don's infidelity and her father's death with her wants for a career -- or some sort of outside life -- and her new feelings for Henry Sherman. But now with Don out of the picture and her future seemingly secure with Sherman, I don't see where she fits in -- unless she starts a career, or falls in love with Don again, which I don't see happening.

In the finale, we get the return of Joan -- the most titillating (conscious choice of word) character and one of the most entertaining characters -- and reunite her with Roger Sterling. After the episode where Roger was visited by an old flame and re-evaluated his marriage with his young trophy wife, I think he realized that Joan's the one for him (it's spelled out so obviously when he even calls her and says "it's nice to be on the minds of some people") and this is definitely going to be a major story line next year.

I also feel Harry is going to do something Fredo-like at Sterling Cooper Draper Price. The writers have already hinted at his incompetence twice in the finale, with his easy-to-quit attitude when the Art Department door was locked (Draper kicks it in) and his not knowing which hotel room the agency was in. I'd even argue, his nervousness in the hotel bedroom when Trudy arrives with sandwiches is another clue that he might not be up for the big move.

I'm interested in wondering what's going to happen with Peggy and Pete Campbell. I loved how Campbell got credited for being ahead of the curve on where the agency (you can substitute for America) was headed, and some of his targeted markets... Everything that had happened during the previous 12 episodes is wrapped up amazingly in the finale.

Also, I want to know what happens with Peggy and Don Draper, now that he's a bachelor. I think the frustration in the relationship between outsiders Peggy and Don -- how Don dismissed, never credited and pretty much ignored her, while she never stood up for herself, since she felt she was still indebted to Draper for giving her the copywriter position -- may start to dissipate as they communicate more openly. I want to see what happens as they finally maybe come to understand each other, and if that might lead to something more because there is a lot more going on between those characters that I thought.

Either way, crapping on the finale because it changes the show is just plain goofy, since the whole world was changing back then. I loved season three (or in Yellowknife vernacular: "It was DEADLY!") and am way too excited for season four, which is only... 8 months away.

Fuck.