Ladies and Germs,
After a week of fierce competition and a massive voter turnout (I want to personally thank all 18 of you... Well not you, Oil Can, but everyone else is cool. Who am I kidding? You're cool too Can) it gives me great pride to present to you the four-headed monster you created...
Your 2009 Dream Team: Mount Douchemore.
George W. Bush
Herb Mathisen (fuck the heck?)
I feel like Charlie Kauffman. I wrote myself into my own Mount Douchemore.
Patch (Name withheld to protect identity)
Whoops... sorry, Darc
and... a tie!?!?!?!? What the... Stephen Harper and Tom Cruise
Before we can proceed with the grand unveiling of the monument, we need to get this tie-breaker rectified.
So after calling a meeting with myself and conferring with myself and getting outside consultation from myself, I -- myself -- have decided to reopen the polls (or poll) for 48-hours only, to answer the question that has plagued man since he first began drawing pictures on cave walls out of his own poop: who is a bigger douche:
Is it Stephen Harper?
Or Tom Cruise?
Let it be known, the eternal question will have a definitive answer in just two days.
Vote now. Vote often.
For transparency's sake, here are the results from the original Mount Douchemore election:
George W. Bush - 7
Herb Mathisen - 6
Tom Cruise and Stephen Harper - 5
Allison Stokke's boyfriend - 4
James Blunt, Emrah Bulatci and Dane Cook - 3
Derek Jeter - 2
Todd Bertuzzi, Howie Mandel, Nicolas Sarkozy, Isiah Thomas, Kanye West, Robin Williams - 1
And Adam Sandler and Chris Wallace (Grizz GM, not Biggie) are vindicated as being undouche.