oil can rocks the vote

Warming it up with the Can

What's shakin, slingas of lingo?

It's the Can, checking back in with a brand new plan... 

How you doing? How are the little ones? Crawling already? Well dang...

I appreciate all the letters y'all sent me, wishing me well for the holidays, wondering if I'd ever come back and just generally making me feel like a well-loved kind of guy. And I gotta say, sometimes those little words are pretty damn powerful with the shit I been through the last few miles of my trip, man...

This recession is really startin to crush the Can, man. 

Can't get a job. Nope. None. Baltimore Orioles passed me up for a pitching coach job. Then caught a train out to the Pacific Northwest, but the Seattle Mariners said no. Even the New York Mets turned me down. I mean, damn! The Mets? Shit...

Not all is going down the tank though. I'm pretty jacked up about my boy Obama getting into that White House. I ain't ashamed to say I got a bit misty eyed at that ceremony, standing there with millions watching that historic shit go down.

Caught up with the man himself to see if he had a spot for me in his administration, but shit, Barack said he didn't have room for a pitching coach with all them secretaries of state and foreign affairs... I said, damn, how many secretaries does one man need?

Visited this blog a couple times and figured I put my stamp on this ridiculous vote. 

Now, I never called no one a douche before, but after reading through some of the nominations, I think I know what it means and I'm rockin my vote...

I'll even let you in on the who and the what...

1. George W. Bush

Now this man is straight up douche. He's a real mothafucka. He's a bad dude. Like Kanye said, he don't care about black people but I don't think he cares about any people... except rich people. And don't get me started on rich people. I fuckin hate rich people, man.

2. Derek Jeter

He's rich people. He's a Yankee. I used to play for the Sox, and even though things ended up pretty shitty in Beantown, I still hold a grudge against anyone who suits up in them pinstripes. It gets in your blood... Also, he did give herpes to all those pretty ladies and man, that's douche.

3. Herb Mathisen

Y'all were expecting someone else? Ha ha, yeah man. Can't stand the guy. I stayed at his spot in Iqaluit over the summer and shit now I hate all Canadians (just kidding, I love y'all). But this kid snores like a damn jet any time he closes his eyes, he breathes super ass loud when he eats and I never once saw him clean a dish or take out the trash the whole two months I was there. So I took all his beer and bounced...

Let's not end it here though, people... I wanna hear some more douchish shit about old Herbiberous, because I'm willing to bet my job that he's done some shit supremely douchish to some of y'all.

Send em in, baby. 

I'll have my own contest... What's the most douchebag thing Herb Mathisen has done to you? Put your name with your story and let's see shit get out of hand...

Awww yeah.