have you seen this man?

Richard Golden:

Richard Golden, WHERE ARE YOU? And more importantly, where is any evidence of your beautiful, unintentional comedic gold commercials... Also, this is apparently what went for sexy in the late 1980s.

A little background:

As a youngster growing up in Yellowknife, my sister and I spent an inordinate amount of Saturday mornings slurping cereal and munching cinnamon-sugar toast in front of the TV, while snow blasted into the side of our apartment and made outdoor fun torturous.

Unfortunately, a side effect of being a Canadian kid with the most basic of cable in the late-80s, early-90s was the fact that the best Saturday morning shows were shown on the three major American networks: NBC, ABC and CBS.

For some reason, our feed came from Detroit, meaning we were definitely up on our Detroit Tigers (Alan Trammel and Lou Whitaker baby!) and the daily hand-gun murders delivered from the mouths of trustful local TV personalities. WDIV's Carmen Harlan and Devin Scillian, anyone?

These two introduced me and my sis to gangland violence, Halloween firebombs and rape between Hang Time and Saved by the Bell...

Also, we got the run of local, Detroit commercials, which included Mel Farr, who dressed up like Superman to sell Fords, the non-stop hit-and-run, drinking and driving or personal negligence slickster attorneys and the one and only Richard Golden -- the spokesperson, president and pimp of D.O.C.s "Sexy Specs."

Please tell me you remember this guy and his commercials.

They basically began with him saying, "I'm Richard Golden and these glasses are so sexy, they'll make you want to dance...." Then this funky music would start up and he would put on his glasses, walk into a classroom or on to some graffitied up street corner and start busting out some moves, with his feet just sliding and tapping and twirling, which people would watch with shit-eating grins and be all into it.

He's been memorialized in pop art. But there is no documentation of the classic commercials on the internet... that I have been able to find?

I remember watching him and not being able to decipher whether Richard Golden was psychotic, cool or just delusional. Was this normal behaviour or was this guy a complete loon?

It's a lot for a kid to take in... Here's some white guy in a leather coat, popping his collar then rocking some fancy footwork with no invitation to dance from anyone and people just watching him giver in all these different settings... I didn't know if that was socially acceptable. What would happen if I could just start busting a move during class or something, with my hand on my hips? Did people really do that shit in public? It was very confusing.

But looking back, it's absolutely ludicrous and hilarious, which is why I'm making a formalized plea for your memories of this guy and more importantly, a link to one of the commercials.

I can't pay you -- what with the economic slow down being what it is -- but I can promise that whoever is able to provide me a link will get the most flattering photo of their likeness posted on this blog, with an even more flattering write-up.

Please find me Richard Golden. I think this commercial would become the No. 1 viewed and adored video on youtube. It was so ridiculous.

PPPLLLLEEEEEAAAAASSSSEEEEEE!!!!

Note:

Apparently, there will be no more new commercials, as Richard Golden has put the dancing shoes in the closet for good. Say it ain't so... Strong men still cry...

And here is a nice attempt at parodying the clips. But it's not even close to the real thing. Not even close.

Here's a nice, very long discussion about corny Detroit ads.