One thing I've noticed over the past couple weeks is the way Iqalummiut seem to go all out with their mayonnaise.
I'm not going to say that I dislike the stuff, because I don't. I really don't mind it here and there -- although I just asked Oil Can about his opinion of the mayonnaise love and he vomited a glass of milk into a fern.
It just seems maybe as if the mass of the white stuff globbed onto sandwiches and the like is a little bit excessive.
I find too much of it is impossible to break down with saliva. It just clumps together. And then, hours after eating, you'll still find these small, resistant pockets of mayonnaise holding out, in between your teeth, almost like (what's the most commonly used cliche?) Japanese soldiers abandoned on remote islands in the South Pacific during WWII who whole-heartedly fought on years after the war ended, because they had no clue it was over.
I've found a slew of the egg-based condiment clogging up clubhouses and wraps and burgers from three different restaurants now and I'm beginning to wonder if mayonnaise levels aren't legislated by government.
Premier Paul Okalik signing off on the No Jar Left Behind Act?
I feel the need to get to the bottom of this.
I mean, Can can't keep his food down... and now he's just staring at me and I feel uncomfortable. All the chairs are broken, so I'm cool now.
Oh, and for those of you keeping track at home... the mayonnaise truck seems to be stuck in neutral for the time being.