i want to write...

... but after doing it all day, I really feel I can't even get a coherent thought together on here some nights.

This feels like one of those nights.

I want to comment on the election though. Okay, brain, 10 more minutes and then you can go pass out and dream about plane crashes.

I'd like to respond to tonight's blue-washing of Canada, but I  feel some sort of duty as a reporter to remain objective (even on a personal blog, I know) and even if I don't agree with the way the country is leaning (that's as far as I'll go on the record!).

Although I will say... It's time for proportional representation!

It's downright crummy that 18% of the country can vote NDP and they only get 37 seats, which works out to about 12.5% of the spots in Parliament. The Greens get 6.5% of the vote and receive nothing. 

The Bloc gets 10% of the vote but 50 seats, nearly 20% of those cushy Parliament positions.

And that's where the whole hope for proportional representation falls through: Quebec.

They would never go for it, because all their political clout is based on their ability to elect a strong Quebec-first party. If Canada elected its leaders based on the percentage of the popular vote their parties received, Joe Six Geese's vote in 'remote NWT community' would be worth the exact same as a citizen of Quebec. 

Again, no one in Quebec would ever go for that, and that's too bad, because this system rewards the ass clowns. And there are plenty of them to go around.

I have more faith in George Clinton's Parliament at this point.  At least there would be a lot more Green in his Parliament.

And funk.

Update: It's 11:50 p.m. and this probably won't last, but I was just taking one last look at the map of Canada and stared in astonishment that NDP candidate Linda Duncan in Edmonton-Strathcona was leading Conservative incumbent Rahim Jaffer (who's held that seat for four terms) by 450 votes with 222 of 223 polls reporting.

There's a little orange blip in the middle of blue Alberta (Alberta has a heart?). 

This is like watching a duck fly out unscathed from the Exxon Valdez disaster.

That would be a coup for the NDP, which also won a seat in Quebec for the first time outside of a by-election.

Damn, now I have to stay awake.

Shoot, did I just murder objectivity?

Oh well. 

I will say I don't have any real confidence in anybody right now, although some parties make sense to me.

I can't wait for this thing to turn, I'm going to sleep. I hope nothing changes between now and tomorrow...

different endings

I know there are people out there that aren't interested in other peoples' dreams. 

Not me. And that's why I'm sharing an interesting development in a reoccuring dream I've had for probably the past 7 or 8 years.

To start, I've always been a reluctant flyer. As a kid, I dreaded it like bathing, but after working for an airline and hopping on planes on a weekly, if not daily, basis for a year, I've gotten over much of the fear.

For quite some time, and as often as once a week for a while, I would have dreams about being involved in a plane crash. It was odd, because usually I would be tasked with flying the thing, even though I have no clue at all how airplanes even work. Still, I would get in the flight deck, knowing full well I was going to crash the thing, and go through with all the motions, and obviously I would crash the plane. Often, the plane would have some sort of deformity, like it wouldn't be completely pressurized or there would be no top half, so it would be convertible-like. Even when I didn't fly the plane, like the times I was a passenger, I would still know the whole time that it would crash. I would accept it, resigned to fate, and just go along with it for some reason. And I was always alone, or separated from the people I was with. And the plane always crashed. And I always woke up just before it went down.

This isn't me, but this picture popped up when I typed nervous flyer into Google Images. I think it's an accurate representation and probably what I look like in the dream.

Lately though, and I would say in the past six months, things done changed.

I still dream of planes with regularity, but now, when I'm on them, I'm not preoccupied with it crashing. It doesn't even cross my mind. And even though the plane still usually starts to go down -- either by losing pressurization or by blowing an engine -- I stay relatively calm and I now always seem to survive the crash. 

The last one I remember, I was over what looked like Salt Lake City, teetering in a steep turn when the right engine blew and we dipped even further. The plane hovered over the city for some time, and we somehow maneuvered toward the airstrip. 

And then, in the time it took to blink my eyes, I was laying on a grassy little patch, beside a small city intersection, and a tall cliff overlooking the ocean. I was lying in the fetal position.

I don't know what any of this means. I'm glad, I guess, that it seems to be getting better.

I also feel foolish for writing this now, as I'll be flying in a couple days. I hope I don't get that feeling.

so, so fulfilling

Tough

Fluff

6 - 0 tonight. So, so fulfilling. And a fitting tribute to Luc Bourdon.

The boys stood up for each other. They looked fast. They answered toughness questions. The only question mark for me from that game was Pyatt, but you can't complain when you demolish the Calgary Flames... Oh man, was that good.

And the Flames... proved they were overhyped. Iginla is a whiner and Phaneuf is no kind of presence defensively. I don't see why they were being treated like a contender.

It's only one game, I know. But damn, was that good.

Burrows 2 - Iginla 0

one of my favourite words

Earlier this year, I used to take great pleasure in jotting down new and ridiculous words and their definitions as I'd come across them during my days. 

Cleaning up the filth around my home, I found such a list, compiled back at the end of March. I read it only to realize the relevance today, of one of my favourite words at the time.

The word is tappen.

What is a tappen, you ask?

Tappen: an obstruction, or indigestible mass. found in the intestines of bears and other animals during hibernation. Also referred to as a "rectal plug." They make it difficult for the animal to defecate during hibernation, but are often passed with great pain in the spring time.

And why does this word take on added significance now?

Three words: The Sarah Palin

The Sarah Palin: a tappen for the new American Century

She is one indigestible mass of rhetoric.

Hopefully, she passes before spring, like sometime early next month.

draft day

I'm a big ball of nerves today. In a few short hours, I will be deciding the fate of the next twelve months of my relationships with good friends, by choosing my fantasy hockey pool team.

Those of you who have never been involved in a hockey pool will no doubt think I'm exaggerating things. Believe me, I'm not.

If I pick a bunch of bums, I will never, ever have the last word in arguments, rassings, and things of that nature. In Canada's male-culture today, one's social stature amongst friends is determined by his hockey pool position. 

If you're dwelling in the basement of the pool, you are looked at as weak and foolish by your peers and ridiculed for your foolhardy picks.

You truly can achieve alpha dog status by dominating your friends in your league.

Currently, Kevbot holds this title. No matter what happens anywhere, he can always hold his supremacy last year (and near supremacy in the playoffs too) against us. 

To his credit, he doesn't bring it up too often, but, at the same time, whenever we're busting balls, I remember his title winning team last year, and I stop instead of pushing too far, lest he brings up last year. (Note: whenever he does, I pathetically resort back to the injury argument. I mean, there is some merit there. I used a very high pick last year on point-producing defenseman Dan Boyle. The next day, he was doing an interview in the dressing room and a hanging skate fell off a hook in his locker and sliced like three tendons in his wrist, putting him out for months. When I heard the news, I knew I was toast.)

Why so glum, Dan? Oh, right. You're the hardest luck hockey player ever. Yes, yes. I remember during the Cup Finals in Calgary, when you returned to Tampa Bay to find that your house had been burnt down. Here, let me buy you a coffee.

I have played out all excuses now. Last year, is just a bitter memory. Today, is a clean slate, a fresh canvas. I've been prepping for the past few hours. I feel ready for this. This is the most important day of the year. 

This evening will determine where I stand on the social pecking order for the next 12 months. If I completely fail tonight, I may just be the most miserable guy walking the streets of Yellowknife this winter.

Wish me luck.

Mr. T does Dilla

Uncle T wants you... to click on the link below

Mr. T is mashin!

He ain't got no time for no jibba-jabba. The godfather of bling too, I guess.

P.S.

Here's a sickening beat from Waajeed I stumbled upon during youtube.com meandering:

Scales - Waajeed

I think this needs to be cranked next time you do some night time highway driving... or time-traveling.

Palin-comparison

Usually I try to be funny on here, but I'm not in the mood. I'm too horrified to attempt humour.

A bold statement to begin: If McCain and Palin somehow pull this thing off, I won't step foot in that country as long as they are in power. Not for a wedding. Concert. Vancouver Canucks, Stanley Cup Game 7. No chance. I'd be too petrified to be surrounded by people who believe she is capable of being a heartbeat away (NOTE: I was told 'heartbeat away' was lazy, so I'll substitute it for 'a slip getting out of the bathtub away'. Cool?) from, basically, becoming the leader of the world.

She couldn't lead my nuts.

"Garsh holy heck, shucksamagoo!"

Before ranting, I just want to say I will refer to her as 'the Sarah Palin', because tonight, she clearly was not a human.

'The Sarah Palin' is the scariest thing presently sucking air. Actually, that's wrong. I'm sure she's a nice enough lady, you know, watching hockey and such. But this position is too big for someone as unaware as she is to be elected into. The fact that she has made it this far is the scary part, I guess.

She never answered one question during the debate, although she called herself a 'straight talker' throughout. If she was uncomfortable with a question, she moved to issues she knew about, regardless of what the moderator asked. She brought her family into everything. She repeated the same stock words, over and over. She winked more than once. She shucked. She said darn more than I can recall. She said doggonit. At one point, she referenced her fucking disabled child to pander to the disabled vote. She avoided specifics like she probably avoids books. She attacked relentlessly, and then accused Biden of attacking.

It was shameful.

On the other hand, I think I'm going to go out and buy a Biden T-shirt. Dude is cool. 

Joe Biden: Old Spice guy.

I've never wanted to have a beer with a politician before that debate.

I feel so bad for him, though. By the middle of the debate, he started repeating things, almost in frustration, reacting to the completely hollow asstalk coming from Palin's mouth, getting worked up to try to explain things to someone as dunce as Palin... which actually might play against him, because people will think he was talking down to the public. I remember hearing him sigh at one time.

Biden spoke issues. Showed his vast wealth of experience.

Biden speaks about at least five specific things that happened in and around Israel during the Bush administration that destabilized the region, showcasing his historical knowledge of the country and the people and the politics over there.

'The Sarah Palin' responds, "I love Israel. I'm glad we can agree on this," and then proceeds to re-spout the same basic gibberish everyone knows about Iran and the threat they possess.

Good Christ! After the debate, pundits are saying Palin did great. 

Fuck the heck?!?!

"She hit a homerun from the heartland." - Sen. Leiberman. Really?

"She seemed to stay on topic more than Joe Biden." - Undecided voter from Idaho, speaking to CBS reporter.

Honestly? I felt like I could have beat her up there.

Biden ANNIHILATED 'the Sarah Palin' tonight. It wasn't even close. She gave a 'shout out' for Jimminy Crickets (yikes, that sounds like something 'the Sarah Palin' might say).

But, of course, the media are talking about the wrong things. Who cares that people feel she's just like you. Or that it's like watching you on stage. 

No offense, but you collect shopping carts outside Wal-Mart. You are not qualified to be vice-President.

Neither is she. She's grossly, grossly incompetent. 

I'm legitimately frightened over the future of the United States of America, in that they would even consider her as vice-president.

This is all the media's fault for lowering public expectations so far for her that the fact that she didn't blank out and puke on herself like burpie baby means people are claiming a victory.

I mean, cah mawn! She didn't answer a damn question. She was pathological. She changed the freekin' subject every single darn, rootin tootin time... Oh, no. I'm becoming Palinized.

Note: Gwen, the moderator, told Biden straight up after the debate "you did great."

He sure did. But I hope Americans realize that.