must be some kind of record

Hey kids!

It's your old friend Oil Can, just checkin in to see how y'all doin?

Myself, I've been bouncing around here and there. Saw Obama. Dude is tall!

I'm on one of those pay joints in downtown Philly right now, so I don't have much time to catch y'all up with my travels, so I'll be quick. Just in here now, getting my things dried up. Got my socks on the bannister, getting some heat to em, you know, cause shit, I just spent the last three nights at Citizens Bank, waiting on them Phillies to beat the Rays.

See, I couldn't leave the park cause I kind of snuck in for Game 5. Dude at security must of thought I was Jimmy Rollins or something. I was jacked though man, cause I ain't been to a Fall Classic since my days with the Bo Sox and I ain't gonna start bringing that up, cause that shit just pisses me right off.

But yeah, so the game gets going and she was a tight one and then the rain starts coming down in droves man, ona them Gullywashers, you know? Dudes were missing cut-offs, Rollins missed a pop-up, the wind was driving people crazy and they cancelled the game. Well man, what's the Can gonna do? I can't leave. This is the World Series, baby!

So I spent Wednesday night under a frozen malt stand umbrella in the second level concourse. Nobody bothered me none, and I stocked up on some sweets. I woke up at one point and there was some old mangey pooch cuddled up next to me, though, and I didn't like that.

Wake up in the Hotel Philadelphia

I had nothing to do the next day and just took my bore old self to the bullpen and looked around. Those ballplayers sure got it good now, boy. Them chairs they sit on out there, that's just excessive man. We used to have chairs like them steel jobs in the WWF, throw your back right out.

When nobody came to the park Tuesday, I figured they done postponed the game till Wednesday, but I couldn't really tell cause I don't got a cellphone and who knows what's happening these days man, maybe the stocks took another dive and everyone was shipping out to China or something and maybe it was just me, old Can, left to wander an empty ballpark. I did meet some girl on Tuesday, but I think she was a cleaning lady or something and I couldn't understand a damn word she was saying. She was cool though, gave me some cracker jacks she found.

So I spent Tuesday night in the Phillies bullpen, in a fort I built out of them chairs. 

I figured if no one came by Wednesday, then I would be okay with leaving.

Wouldn't you know it though, shit clears up and Citizen Bank gets live... I stuck around the Phillies bullpen (dude in security thought I was Jimmy Rollins' brother) and after three innings, the Phillies took it and the people went wild.

I was pretty tired and still kind of am. I was seeing shit too, I think, on  account of the tiredness by the end of the whole thing... You know, like fireworks and flying saucers and shit, cause man I was tired and all I ate was cracker jacks and frozen malts and this crazy energy shit they drink in the bullpen nowadays.

But I do remember seeing this one pudgy white boy on the Phillies -- Stairs, I think it was -- grinning like a damn jackal when the boys celebrated and hammered his ole behind...

Shit, the red light is blinking, I think I'm timed out...

Stay warm, kiddies and I'll hit ya when somethin