human rights watch: apartment search

I think I've found a place. My brain hurts, the arches of my feet are strained, and I've hit so much pavement, I'm calling myself the steamroller. But I've been given the thumbs-up at a cool apartment just off St. Catherine in French Montreal, and, after having a look at one more -- and much cheaper -- room tonight, I believe I will be calling up my two future 'colocs' and saying 'je vais le prendre.'

However, the past week and a half -- broken in half by a four-day jaunt to Halifax -- have not always proved so positive. My past apartment searching endeavors were so easy, by comparison. They consisted of speaking with friends or acquaintances, who would eventually tip me off to a place. But not really knowing anyone in Montreal (where the hell did everyone go?) I've been reliant upon craigslist.com, kijiji.ca, and toutmontreal.com, along with a myriad of other classified sites for hints about potential places to rest my dome piece.

And as I sifted through listing after listing, crouched helplessly before the computer screen glow like a houseplant at a window, I was startled by all the discriminatory language from the ads. So much so, that I'm now considering legal action.

I mean, nearly every posting called for at least one of the following qualifications -- and in most cases, a combination of them: animal lover, vegetarian (or vegan), non-TV watcher, non-facebook user, musician, artist, creative person ONLY, gay, female, student, international student, French-speaker only, quiet, clean, does dishes, toilet-trained (housebroken) and able to pay rent.

Unreasonable, I know.

I think I'm going to file a human rights complaint, because how is a meat-eating, white guy who hates cats and poops on the floor supposed to find a place to live these days?

Ridiculous.