there's no such thing as luck, chuck

Do you believe in lucky days? Or lucky months?

I'm not completely sure how I feel about luck right now. But the grayer (read: balder) I get, the more I feel that we have more to play in our destiny than chance ever does.

Now, I can tell you that friends of mine certainly don't feel this way. DA, for one, used to swear that a certain day of the year was cursed. I wish I could remember it off the top of my head, but I can't right now. Anyways, on this day, bad things happened to him: he'd get speeding tickets, or get into car crashes. Things like that. It got to the point where he wouldn't plan anything important on that day and he'd try not to leave his house and, if he did, he'd try to do as little as possible. If a test was scheduled or a job interview or something on that day, he'd freak out. And you know, his record that particular day really was convincing, but I'm somewhat sure his apprehension and almost invitation of negative energy would ensure that bad things would continue to happen for him. And to tell you the truth, they still do. Nothing but bad happens to DA on that day.

To tie this back into where I was starting off, I always kind of felt that way about January. Month number one of the year has always been the loneliest month for me. I think I've always been single and usually hurting about a girl in January, my dad had his accident in January and really, the coldest and darkest (remember, we have no Christmas lights anymore) month of the year has always seemed particularly cruel to me. Under DA's influence, I began to think something sinister was at work and that, perhaps, my Januarys (or is it Januaries?) were cursed.

When I got back to Montreal this year after Christmas, I kind of felt like January was going to once again kick my ass. I had no job. I had (have) large scale debt, which tends to happen when you go traveling for more than a month on basically a credit card. I was short on options and even shorter on self-confidence.

That first week I was low, mon. I sort of wallowed in self-pity. I thought about all the money I could be making in Yellowknife, and all the friends I had there and how fun the trip home had been. I thought about the skinny prospects of all the $9 per hour dishwashing jobs that I could fetch, because my French wasn't up to snuff and how many hours I'd have to work to pay off my credit card, let alone rent, the student loan, bills, cell phone payments and creditors coming out of the blue for unpaid indiscretions I'd made in my past. Like why were they all biting me in the ass right now?

I dwelt upon it. Money -- or lack of it -- obsessed me. And I felt powerless to do anything about it at the same time, as I applied for job after job and received nary a reply.

Pathetically, I was letting January get the best of me.

And then things changed. Kate showed up, out of the blue, in Montreal and we had a beer and a hooka and a lot of laughs. And then Sacha called me and we met up with Kate and went out to Igloofest and we met a bunch of sweet folks there. And we had a couple dinners at my place and my new roommate turned out to be a rabid NHL10 player and in a similar predicament to my own on the job front and we had some late nights battling on the XBox. Alex and I went skating and talked about how beautiful Parc la Fontaine was and I went and played hockey with the roommates and the neighbours. And I was contacted by News/North and they wondered if I could help them at a trade show for a couple days in Montreal. The boys decided to have Mindy's stag in Montreal and I started to get excited about seeing everybody in March. Then me and Sacha threw a party at my apartment and I was blown away by all the people that showed up and it was a sort of 'this is your life' moment, seeing all the people I'd met over the past 4 months. And while I was still stressed about work, I started to realize that, while work and money is important, having fun and being happy and staying positive is more vital. And I was picked right up. And Misanthrope gave me a pendant and kissed it and said I'd have a job in 7 days.

And then I went to Igloofest again that Saturday and it was a blast and after going skating again Sunday after a day napping on the couch, and a Twin Peaks session, I felt rejuvenated for the job hunt. And all the hopelessness I felt was gone, because really life, other than the financial situation, was sweeter than a sugar cookie.

I found a job on craigslist.com I'd twice applied on, and because my skill set seemed perfect for it, I applied once again and within 2 hours, I'd gotten a call back and had an interview set up for the next day.

Soumi took me downtown to get a pair of shoes for the interview, 20 minutes before I was supposed to be there. I bought the Pumas on my credit card, feeling guilty about running up another charge on the bloated VISA. I went to the 3-hour interview and was drained by the end, and then met Alex for a coffee and I sat uncomfortably in a pair of tight black dress pants I borrowed from my roommate, which I was itching to tear off like a kid does his church clothes.

But larger forces were at work now and things had turned around. You know how when you feel shitty and then you smile, even if it's forced, and you start to feel better? I think that happened in a bigger way.

I went back to the Puma store to return the shoes I bought because, in the rush, I had neglected to realize they were too small and after the long interview, my feet had become raw. After talking to the manager for a bit, he ended up telling me the store was hiring and he said I should hand in my CV. It was too much. And in the past two or three days, I've received a couple other enticing offers, some of which may come to fruition, I believe. I went down for another killer Igloofest session last night and smoked a shisha into the wee hours and talked about Quebec and the country with my people and some new friends.

Anyway, tonight I got a call from the company I interviewed with and they told me I got the job. I start on Monday. It's permanent. It's full-time. It's decent pay. I'm happy. Like Misanthrope had promised, I had a job 7 days after she kissed the pendant I'm wearing right now.

So I suppose I've learned that everything in life is about attitude.

And now, I guess, I just have to learn one more thing: how to wake up before noon again.

If I can master that, then I'll be gold.

The Verve - Lucky Man
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